Absence

Heyo! 
I disappeared for a while for a personal leave because things weren't really going too well for me. Mentally, I felt like I was worthless and nothing was going to happen for me. Physically, I'm worn out and I'm not doing too good. I've been sick on and off and allergies have done me in so much. I've been waiting for a good time to write this post. It's been sitting in my drafts for about four months and I just decided to rewrite it and inform you on what life has been like for me.
So it's been about ten WHOLE months since I posted. In those ten months I went to Warped Tour, saw 5 Seconds of Summer and One Direction, turned seventeen, started school in a new state with new people, made new friends without replacing my old ones and went to a ton of concerts. Living in Massachusetts leaves me with the great advantage of living right around the corner from a venue called the Palladium in Worcester. Among the last few months I applied at a lot of places and finally got a job at a fast food chain that's well known. I had to ditch my colored hair, which was my favorite aspect of myself. 
Through these ten months I have changed a lot. I'm trying to find who I truly am and trying to mentally build myself up and realize my flaws really don't define me. Meeting Damon Fizzy at Warped Tour really helped me realize that I am appreciated by the people I look up to and I don't want to fail someone by doing anything stupid with my life. Between YouTube and music I don't really know where I would be at this point. I don't think I would be dead but I wouldn't be in a great mental state. It really took so much to build me up where I am right now. Months ago I thought writing this would be super tough but now that I am actually writing it, it's so easy.
Soon I will start making videos on YouTube and I will broadcast myself to the people of the internet without a single second thought.

Much love to anyone who actually takes time to read this
xo Angelica

Warped Tour 2014

In just a few days I'll be standing inside the Xfinity Center in Mansfield, Massachusetts for Vans Warped Tour. This year will be my second time going and I'm actually insanely excited to be going again. I didn't think I would be able to go because of a fight my dad and I got into over losing a family friend at a show. But in the end, my mom told me she'd give me and my family friend a ride to the show. It's been a stressful few days though thinking about all the things I need to prepare for Warped Tour this year. Last year I had some help from a friends mom and let me tell you, I couldn't thank her anymore for supplying us with everything we needed. 

This year since I'm going with a family friends daughter to the show I've realized it's really difficult to know exactly what you need until the day of Warped or the night before. Last year we brought all of these extra things that we didn't need but in the end I ended up needing something more important than the rest and of course, I left it back at the hotel. This year I know exactly what I'm bringing and limiting everything. 

My list includes:

• Rain poncho (It rains every year at my warped tour for some reason)
• Sanitary wipes for my hands and toilets 
• Sharpies, lots of them.
• My panda onesie to get signed by people
• A possible extra outfit just in case my outfit gets soaked (easy to avoid chaffed legs)
• Sunblock!
• Money (About $200)
• My cellphone 
• My concert vlogging camera (if they let me bring it in!)
• A somewhat decent sized backpack!

This year I refuse to let anything get me down or ruin the mojo I have going so far. Last year I stressed about finding friends and a shitload of friend group drama but this year I absolutely refuse to let anyone bring me down! I'm excited to be at Warped Tour and to be vlogging at Warped Tour this year. It will be my very first YouTube video ever so keep an eye out! (:

Here's a list of the bands I'll be seeing and who I will be meeting!

• Of Mice & Men (Meeting)
• We The Kings (Meeting)
• Mayday Parade
• This Wild Life
• The Summer Set
• Damon Fizzy (YouTuber)
• Bayside (Meeting for my dads ex wife!)
• Modsun

If anyone sees me at Warped Tour, don't be afraid to stop by and say hello! If you don't know what I look like have a creep on my instagram (@tbhangieee) and my twitter (@tbhangieee).

Stay cool and enjoy your day! (:

Life Savers and Life Saving

I feel like at a young age everyone comes to realize that they want to save lives or help someone not hurt anymore. It's an agreeable statement to someone somewhere in this world, I'd hope. Somewhere in the world someones thinking 'I wanna save someones life' or 'Wow, I really want to change someones life in a good way'. You people are good people. For a long time I've always known that I wanted to help people and make people smile when they were sad no matter what the reason was. I've also come to realize that the people that want to save others are usually the people that need to be saved. Whenever someone asks me about some rough times in my life I could flat out tell you that one of my close friends literally saved my life. Without him I probably would've tried to end my life but he took the time out of his night to sit and talk to me and I vented. At the same time I could sit and tell you that My Chemical Romance was a highly influential reason as to why I'm still alive too. I've claimed since about eighth grade now that music has saved my life. Without a doubt it surely has helped in the process of me getting better and learning how to keep life positive but I couldn't necessarily say that music saved my life. Sure, listening to music kept me stable and mentally sane on the roughest days but I can't say that music literally came and ripped the pills or blades out of my hands. For other people it might be different but for me, music was a stabilizer and a soother. The amount of times I've sat myself down, messaged a friend and just talked was the reason this very day I'm here. Sure, I've had some very influential quotes or even videos help me out with not wanting to hurt myself and I am so so so thankful for those readings/watchings. 

To think of it now, so many things have saved me. My family, my friends, music, strangers. Life is such a short thing and I just want to live it while I can and have a positive experience and smile as much as I can before I can't smile anymore. 

I know this was such a short post but I just really needed to get it off my shoulders and speak about it because I never really spoke about it to any of my other friends or even family. Maybe someone else will be able to understand and maybe, just maybe what I've said will help someone out.

“Hey, girls, you're beautiful. Don't look at those stupid magazines with sticklike models. Eat healthy and exercise. That's all. Don't let anyone tell you you're not good enough. You're good enough, you are too good. Love your family with all your heart and listen to it. You are gorgeous, whether you're a size 4 or 14. It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside, as long as you're a good person, as long as you respect others. I know it's been told hundreds of times before, but it's true. Hey, girls, you are beautiful.” 
― Gerard Way

“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”
― Gerard Way

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IQbpGfhekQ

Film Photography: Monumentour Edition!

As a 16 year old I've never used a store bought film camera on my own time. Well, that was up until recently. On Monday, June 30th, I saw New Politics, Paramore and Fall Out Boy. It was not my first time seeing Fall Out Boy or Paramore so I applauded myself for wanting to try out those film cameras Paramore was selling at the merch stand. They were a bit over the edge on pricing for the film cameras they were selling. I mean $15 a piece? I bought two of them though and used them solely for Paramore's set. I took two pictures during New Politics just to set out the feel of the camera. Seeing as I've never used a film camera it felt weird actually having to look through the viewfinder and not being able to use the flash because it was a concert was kind of frustrating. Throughout the set I got some awesome pictures though. Not all of them came out because I mean, its a film camera. What should anyone expect from a film camera? If you say A+ quality, you're wrong dude. My mom works in the local CVS pharmacy so I had her drop the film off at the photo center for me and the next day we grabbed the photo cd's and the film. For a first time using film I must say I got some awesome pictures. I was intentionally going to this awesome grainy, vintage look and that is exactly what I got and I'm glad. Paramore had EXCEPTIONAL lighting for these cameras so when I was standing in the back of the crowd, fingers crossed hoping the lighting would come out awesome, they did! I tried so hard to get close during Paramore but as usual, it was difficult. Paramore has some dedicated, tough and not very nice fans sometimes but it is what it is and we were all there to see the same band. But, now that I've explained myself, enjoy some of my first ever film photos!!!

 This photo above, was definitely one of my favorite photos that I took. I took it at the most perfect timing to catch the fan in front of me enjoying the moment. The one below is also a good after shot too.

 If you notice the photo above, I applaud you for realizing that it is the background of my blog! (:

 These two photos were the two photos I took while I was testing out the film cameras. Not the best but its meant for trial and error! 

Just Something About Me

I guess I've always been great at talking about myself to others and describing myself online to a fairly wide audience. I always feel bad whenever I sit and talk about myself but in these kind of terms I guess I sort of have to talk about myself. Read on if you'd like to know more about me than my parents probably know (haha, I may or may not be being completely serious).

Heyo, my names is Angelica Vestal. My birthday is on August 5th and I was born in 1997 to my wonderful mom and rad dad. Looks wise I have brown/green eyes, curly hair that's been dyed numerous times, a nose piercing on the right side of my nose and facial acne like every normal teen my age. When I was younger I literally thought that being a stripper was a proper and okay job so I thought I wanted to be a stripper and when people asked what I wanted to be I'd lie and say I wanted to be a firefighter. With that being said I have changed my mind completely and I now want to be a photographer. Not just any kind of photographer though, I want to be a concert photographer. I've been working on my portfolio recently and I guess you could say I'm quite the amateur. My mum spent a whopping $700 for me to get a Nikon D3200 and now that I own it I take pictures literally every single day no matter what I'm doing. In the past few years I've been in and out off about three or four different bands and at this point I've given up on singing in a band and I want to give my all into being a photographer because it's what I love doing the most. I'll post some of my photos in the end of this post because I guess it's fair to show you some of my work, right? In the past few years I've discovered a lot of bands and artists that have changed my life in the best ways I could possibly ask! I remember on my 7th birthday sitting on my living room floor at the break of dawn watching MTV when My Chemical Romance's music video for 'I'm Not Okay (I Promise)' came on and from that very day I remember being stuck like glue to them. When I was around 8 (I'm assuming) I got my very first band tee from my dads ex-wife and it was a My Chemical Romance shirt in a size extra large. Let me just tell you, I SWAM in that shirt for YEARS. I still own it to this very day too. I'm 16 and let me tell you, that shirt has definitely seen its better days but I love it so much. After My Chem I discovered bands like Panic! at The Disco, Fall Out Boy, All American Rejects, Boys Like Girls, you name it I listened to it. At that same time my mom was feeding me into the generic hip hop/pop/rap scene so I was listening to Beyonce, Ciara, Missy Elliot, Ludacris and generic artists like that while my dad on the other hand had me listening to other things. My dad would listen to bands like Metallica, Green Day, Nickleback, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Iron Maiden, the good stuff. Coming from such an intense area of music has taught me that I can learn to love every single genre of music if I put my mind to it.

If you've ever met me in real life you'd know me I'm very open hearted, kind and I'm somewhat a hippy. People used to judge me for being very different but as soon as I got into high school it seems that was what everyone craved and embraced. Individuality and kindness is what everyone loved once I got into high school. Being who I wanted to be got me a lot of friends and shaped me into the person I am today. No matter how much heartbreak and shitty people I've met in my life I always try to keep a positive look on life. I've learned to forgive but never forget and don't EVER give people more than one chance because sometimes, people just don't deserve it. But on the other hand, if you forgive and forget you can get many things back that you couldn't get before. In high school I realized that all I ever wanted to do was be an artist. I didn't know what kind of artist I wanted to be until I thought back to something my uncles wife said to me when I was young. She handed me her beautiful DSLR and let me run around and take pictures and I remember handing it back to her and her just smiling and telling me that I was going to be an amazing photographer when I get older. Now whenever I think of that I just want to thank her so much for that one sentence because without that sentence I wouldn't have even thought of picking up a camera and taking pictures! 

Now that I've gotten a bit carried away with talking about myself, I will actually get into the kind of things you want to know. My favorite colors are blue and green. If I had to pick three of my favorite movies they'd be Labyrinth, Perks of Being a Wallflower and Nightmare Before Christmas. Whenever someone asks me what my favorite band/artist is I could never name one but I could definitely list a few. Those bands would be My Chemical Romance, Lana Del Rey, Fall Out Boy, One Direction, Demi Lovato, Little Mix, Paramore, Metallica, All Time Low and so many more. I've gone to over 25 concerts in a three year span and my first one ever was My Chemical Romance and Blink182 on August 9th 2011 on the Honda Civic Tour. I have so many best friends I couldn't even begin to mention them but I love them all to death. One day I'd like to get rid of my fear and make a YouTube video and try to get popular. I love everyone so easily so I can promise you I could never hate anyone with one look. 

That's pretty much everything about me so now here is some of my photos!